Everything in life is a lesson, and it’s important that we listen to what these lessons teach us. When I was still in high-school, I was certain that I wanted to go to university out west in British Columbia. This was fact to me, and it was something that I felt like I had to do. When senior year rolled around and I graduated high-school, I still wanted to go to this university. I didn’t have the financial resources to afford the tuition for school so I worked for two years to be eligible for a student loan. After those two years, I was granted a student loan award and went off to British Columbia to study at UBC at age 20. What I didn’t realize or consider, was that I might not like it out in British Columbia. I had become so sure of myself that I would enjoy it out in British Columbia that it clouded my aspirations.
I lived in Kelowna, British Columbia. Kelowna was a beautiful city but for some reason, the concrete conclusiveness I had about going to the specific university seemed to disappear slowly when I began going to classes. I questioned myself everyday about whether this is what I really wanted. At the time, I was living with three other girls. I don’t think any of us really knew what we were doing and we were just trying to figure it out along the way. After living in Kelowna for six months, I realized that I was becoming depressed more and more every day. I feel that not knowing what I wanted to do with my life, being so far away from home and feeling out of place contributed to this relapse in depression. It had got to the point where I would go to the university bar and drink by myself just to escape my feelings. The warning signs were every where yet I chose to ignore them, thinking it was just the weather and it would get better once summer came around. When the weather started getting warmer, I realized I was still depressed. In hindsight, I’m glad this depression that I experienced happened because it woke me up. It woke me up from the fact that maybe going to that university wasn’t what I needed, even though I thought that. I had never been that depressed in my life, so I took it as a sign that I should leave. I had thought about leaving for a couple of months but the depression got so bad that one day I called up my parents crying and said, “I can’t do this anymore.” In 4 days, I was in the Kelowna airport waiting for my flight home. A wave of relief fell over me, because for that period of seven months I felt like I was stuck there. I felt that if I left, I would be considered a failure. Now that I look back on it, that fear of failure was natural but also a great life lesson. How are you ever going to develop in life if you don’t learn a tough lesson early on? I’m grateful for my time spent at UBC. I really did meet some wonderful people, but most importantly it guided me to the right path. I flew back home and everything felt right again. It’s almost as if the fog in my brain disappeared and everything became clear to me. Taking time for yourself, or removing yourself from a situation is a necessity. In this case, removing myself from the university helped with my depression, which was growing to a dangerous level, but it also helped me figure out what I really want to do with my life. It’s never easy making these kinds of decisions, but in the long run they help guide us to the path we’re supposed to be on, so for that, I’m thankful.